If only

If only I might love my God and die!—
     But now He bids me love Him and live on,
     Now when the bloom of all my life is gone,
The pleasant half of life has quite gone by.
My tree of hope is lopt that spread so high;
     And I forget how summer glowed and shone,
     While autumn grips me with its fingers wan,
And frets me with its fitful windy sigh.
When autumn passes then must winter numb,
     And winter may not pass a weary while.
     But when it passes spring shall flower again :
And in that spring who weepeth now shall smile—
     Yea, they shall wax who now are on the wane,
Yea, they shall sing for love when Christ shall come.

Christina Georgina Rossetti
20 February 1865